Patience is a virtue that the good Lord did not grace me with at birth. Being the baby of the family I was waited on hand and foot and babied by my siblings and my parents. To say I was spoiled is an understatement.
So imagine my surprise when my first boyfriend breaks up with me because I'm too impatient waiting on a phone call from him. This was back in the days of pagers (remember how cool it was to have it go off and have to make a phone call?) and I hadn't heard from him so I started paging him with my phone number and "911" to let him know this was an emergency. Well he wasn't allowed to use the phone at work and had to ask to make a phone call to me, thinking something was wrong. Ahhh, that was the end of that relationship. It's okay though, he turned out to be a huge loser.
At almost 30 I'm still working on developing my patience and tolerance for things. I'm a government worker, I'm wired to hate people. I say it once a day at least, "I hate people." I've said I want to move out into the middle of nowhere and it just be me, Hubby and step-son, often. I just get frustrated I suppose with the general public.
That being said, I've done a good job of demonstrating patience and tolerance the last few days with Hubby. Step-son and I stayed home yesterday, he was just plain old sick (woke us up in the middle of the night throwing up) and me, well I started Metformin and it has some nasty side effects, we'll just leave it at that. So we were both worthless to the world yesterday, laying in the living room, watching movies. He finally went to his mom's around 5:00 p.m. and I got dressed and ventured out into the public to get some dog food so that at least the pups didn't starve. Hubby worked until 8:30ish and all I wanted was an omelett. I'm the cook in the house but I don't do omeletts, they end up being scrambled eggs, so I asked him if when he got home he could make me an omelett. I sauteed the onions, diced up some ham, and made a sweet potato hash like this http://greenlitebites.com/2010/10/01/simple-sweet-potato-hash/ and a regular potato sauteed for Hubby (he hates sweet potatoes and he's not that picky so I can't get mad when he doesn't like something). Hubby came home and made me my omelett...he burned it. I was disappointed and usually I wouldn't even say anything, even if I'm sick and that's all I wanted but the disappoinment typically shows on my face and I didn't even let that through this time. I mean, Hubby worked 8 a.m. - 8:30 p.m. and I'm going to be upset that he didn't cook my eggs right? No, I thanked him for making me dinner and sat and ate with him while we watched last week's Grey's Anatomy and cuddled on the couch. It wouldn't have done me any good to complain. It wasn't horrible to eat, it's not like it was charred and after a hard day of work he came home and made that for me. That's why he's my hubby, because he's awesome.
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Project Love Dare #1 - Patience
The boys are out of the house for a little bit. I had to send them on their way to the grocery store for tonight's dinner at my brother-in-law's house. We do "Sunday Dinner" with them every week. About 2 1/2 years ago we were over there two weeks in a row for dinner and Hubby jokingly asked them what was for dinner the following Sunday and so it began. We've done all sorts of things like Fondue night, make your own Stromboli, pizzas, burgers, turkey dinner with the fixings, just ordered in fried chicken and pizza, you name it we've done it. Tonight is gyro night and I'm making Paula Dean's Ooey Gooey Butter Cake but I'm doing the peanut butter/chocolate combo because my Hubby lives and breathes for all things peanut butter/chocolate. I'm also bringing potatoes to make carnival fries. We have such a great time going over and catching up once a week with them and getting step-son and his two cousins together.
The dare for today was to practice patience and say nothing negative to my spouse. I've done fairly well so far today considering we cleaned out the garage and organized it, which meant three people on top of each other, fighting over 20-year-old stuffed animals, books, pictures, etc. that were all boxed up outside (side note - I found a package my mother saved for me, which was New Kids on the Block party supplies. Paper plate, napkins, cups and a table cloth...OH EM GEE). It did grate on my nerves but I did well. The day isn't over but I think I'll make it through, I try not to get down on him as it is and so today is a rather easy dare I suppose.
This week will try my patience though and I've affectionately called it "Hell Week". Monday and Wednesday I work both jobs, which means 8 a.m. - 4:30 p.m. and 5:00 p.m. - 11:30 p.m. Tuesday night I have a work get together, which involves playing poker with my best buddies and it's only a monthly thing, so I hate to skip it. Thursday night I have acupuncture and then bowl with my other. Friday night I have a work get together (again) but shouldn't be too long because I'm going to a Pure Romance party (hubba hubba) with my sister-in-law. Then next Saturday and Sunday I have more afternoon shifts at my part-time job. I won't make it home before 10 p.m. any night in the next seven nights, and I know I'll be frustrated and want to complain that the dishes aren't done, the laundry needs folded, etc. but I'm going to practice patience and I have to realize he works too, we have lots to do around our home and he's only one person....so am I.
The dare for today was to practice patience and say nothing negative to my spouse. I've done fairly well so far today considering we cleaned out the garage and organized it, which meant three people on top of each other, fighting over 20-year-old stuffed animals, books, pictures, etc. that were all boxed up outside (side note - I found a package my mother saved for me, which was New Kids on the Block party supplies. Paper plate, napkins, cups and a table cloth...OH EM GEE). It did grate on my nerves but I did well. The day isn't over but I think I'll make it through, I try not to get down on him as it is and so today is a rather easy dare I suppose.
This week will try my patience though and I've affectionately called it "Hell Week". Monday and Wednesday I work both jobs, which means 8 a.m. - 4:30 p.m. and 5:00 p.m. - 11:30 p.m. Tuesday night I have a work get together, which involves playing poker with my best buddies and it's only a monthly thing, so I hate to skip it. Thursday night I have acupuncture and then bowl with my other. Friday night I have a work get together (again) but shouldn't be too long because I'm going to a Pure Romance party (hubba hubba) with my sister-in-law. Then next Saturday and Sunday I have more afternoon shifts at my part-time job. I won't make it home before 10 p.m. any night in the next seven nights, and I know I'll be frustrated and want to complain that the dishes aren't done, the laundry needs folded, etc. but I'm going to practice patience and I have to realize he works too, we have lots to do around our home and he's only one person....so am I.
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Project - Love Dare
A friend of mine recently told me about a book called The Love Dare. My marriage is far from being in trouble but the idea of the book appealed to me. Looking over our marriage and that of our friends' and families' marriages, I wanted something more, something better. My husband was my first true love and it's been a rocky road but I'm glad we're here together today. "The Love Dare is a 40-day challenge for husbands and wives to understand and practice unconditional love." (From the back page of the book.) That is something I'm not quite sure we've attained in our marriage.
I saw a picture the other day of someone I knew who was a victim of one of my sisters' paths to destruction over the last 20+ years. It was a picture from so long ago he still had a smile and seemed happy. I saw that picture and vowed I wouldn't let my husband turn out like that.
Here's where I'll be blogging about my journey. I'll be starting this on Sunday. I'm still reviewing the book and even though it's a 40-day challenge, that would be impossible for me to do each one daily and blog about it each day. I'm in the process of breaking the daily challenges down and will be doing 2-3 each week. I can't wait. I want to be a better wife and show my husband how much I truly love him.
For anyone reading this I urge you to pick up your own copy of the book and attempt the challenge. As a good friend told me, "If you think you don't need the help, it can't hurt your marriage, it can only help the situation." If you'd like to know more about it, here's the official website http://thelovedarebook.com/
Wish me luck!
I saw a picture the other day of someone I knew who was a victim of one of my sisters' paths to destruction over the last 20+ years. It was a picture from so long ago he still had a smile and seemed happy. I saw that picture and vowed I wouldn't let my husband turn out like that.
Here's where I'll be blogging about my journey. I'll be starting this on Sunday. I'm still reviewing the book and even though it's a 40-day challenge, that would be impossible for me to do each one daily and blog about it each day. I'm in the process of breaking the daily challenges down and will be doing 2-3 each week. I can't wait. I want to be a better wife and show my husband how much I truly love him.
For anyone reading this I urge you to pick up your own copy of the book and attempt the challenge. As a good friend told me, "If you think you don't need the help, it can't hurt your marriage, it can only help the situation." If you'd like to know more about it, here's the official website http://thelovedarebook.com/
Wish me luck!
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Update of sorts
So 5mg of Femara does nothing for me. 7mg, oh it worked out nicely. Nice 18.2mm follicle on my left side, which is the only good side now and so I got my trigger shot, we did the appropriate deed and at 7dpo I started feeling funny. I puked, felt like shit and crashed on the couch that night. Saturday morning, 8 dpo my period arrived. I called the RE’s office and left a tearful message to schedule an appointment. I had such high hopes for this cycle and felt robbed of at least the 2ww where I could just keep hoping and praying to get pregnant.
This past Monday I went into my RE’s office and he wasn’t there, I saw the head RE and he said that one of my ovaries looked polycystic. He didn’t want to start me on any new medications, he just had me do a blood draw to test my HCG (negative) and my Estrogen (62). I also had to set up a time to meet with my RE, which is this Friday. We’re going to talk about the fact that maybe I do in fact have PCOS (which I’ve always thought but never had enough evidence until this point). My BFF was diagnosed with it and they gave her Metformin, she gave me so many good pointers for it that I’m feeling very prepared for my appointment on Friday. I actually feel better maybe having a definite diagnosis and answers to why my body has been so fucked up these past few years.
In other news I’m going away on a little trip with the hubby the first weekend in November. I cannot wait. We’re going to what we in Northeast Ohio call “Amish Country” about 90 minutes south of us. There’s some great shopping to be done there and we’re going to stay at this hotel we stayed at about two years ago with a king size bed and Jacuzzi, for the weekend. It’ll be so nice to just get away the two of us and not worry about a thing.
For the time being I’m spending my evenings at home this week wallowing in the despair that is my husband working an inane amount of hours to bulk up on cash before things slow down for the winter. I miss him. I miss lying at opposite ends of the couch, rubbing each other’s feet while we walk and watch our favorite television shows. I miss curling into bed with him, throwing my leg over top of him and knowing I’m safe since he’s there to protect me. It’ll be over soon, I’m sure and then you’ll hear me crying about how I want to commit a homicide after hearing him breathe in his sleep for hours on end because I can’t sleep. Ahh, the joys of an eternity of marriage.
I must go now and be the hard government worker that I am. Oh, I will be sharing a project in the next few days that I'm going to start. Can't wait to share!
This past Monday I went into my RE’s office and he wasn’t there, I saw the head RE and he said that one of my ovaries looked polycystic. He didn’t want to start me on any new medications, he just had me do a blood draw to test my HCG (negative) and my Estrogen (62). I also had to set up a time to meet with my RE, which is this Friday. We’re going to talk about the fact that maybe I do in fact have PCOS (which I’ve always thought but never had enough evidence until this point). My BFF was diagnosed with it and they gave her Metformin, she gave me so many good pointers for it that I’m feeling very prepared for my appointment on Friday. I actually feel better maybe having a definite diagnosis and answers to why my body has been so fucked up these past few years.
In other news I’m going away on a little trip with the hubby the first weekend in November. I cannot wait. We’re going to what we in Northeast Ohio call “Amish Country” about 90 minutes south of us. There’s some great shopping to be done there and we’re going to stay at this hotel we stayed at about two years ago with a king size bed and Jacuzzi, for the weekend. It’ll be so nice to just get away the two of us and not worry about a thing.
For the time being I’m spending my evenings at home this week wallowing in the despair that is my husband working an inane amount of hours to bulk up on cash before things slow down for the winter. I miss him. I miss lying at opposite ends of the couch, rubbing each other’s feet while we walk and watch our favorite television shows. I miss curling into bed with him, throwing my leg over top of him and knowing I’m safe since he’s there to protect me. It’ll be over soon, I’m sure and then you’ll hear me crying about how I want to commit a homicide after hearing him breathe in his sleep for hours on end because I can’t sleep. Ahh, the joys of an eternity of marriage.
I must go now and be the hard government worker that I am. Oh, I will be sharing a project in the next few days that I'm going to start. Can't wait to share!
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Fall is here!
Well, maybe just at Dunkin' Donuts, but still. Hubby and I went to my RE appointment this morning (big fail there) but our ritual is to stop at the Dunkin' Donuts right before we get on the highway to go to the RE and grab some coffee. I normally just get the iced caramel latte but today they had all their pumpkin stuff! So of course I had to get a pumpkin cake donut (Oh em gee) and a hot pumpkin latte. Yum on both fronts!
RE appointment didn't go as well. I had my HSG on Monday. My left tube (where the ectopic was at) is clear BUT my right tube is now blocked, which was fine last October...WTF. Today is only CD12 and there wasn't a lot of progress from the Femara, so I go back on CD15, this Saturday. I had a good cry fest on Monday but I'm okay today with things. I'll be fine, as someone on The Bump pointed out, I still have a clear tube, that's all that matters.
I'm so excited that it's fall time. I dread the cold of winter but there's just something about fall that gets me excited. The crispness in the air, the smell of bonfires, pumpkins, going to haunted houses, festivals, it's just all so refreshing. My niece is in the high school marching band and we help out on Friday nights at the games for her and I so look forward to that, this is the last year since she's a senior so it's bittersweet. I'm hoping my love of all things fall related will help me through these next couple of months.
RE appointment didn't go as well. I had my HSG on Monday. My left tube (where the ectopic was at) is clear BUT my right tube is now blocked, which was fine last October...WTF. Today is only CD12 and there wasn't a lot of progress from the Femara, so I go back on CD15, this Saturday. I had a good cry fest on Monday but I'm okay today with things. I'll be fine, as someone on The Bump pointed out, I still have a clear tube, that's all that matters.
I'm so excited that it's fall time. I dread the cold of winter but there's just something about fall that gets me excited. The crispness in the air, the smell of bonfires, pumpkins, going to haunted houses, festivals, it's just all so refreshing. My niece is in the high school marching band and we help out on Friday nights at the games for her and I so look forward to that, this is the last year since she's a senior so it's bittersweet. I'm hoping my love of all things fall related will help me through these next couple of months.
Thursday, September 9, 2010
Latest for Project Baby Making
Well the consult with the RE was a little depressing. Basically I've developed a Clomid resistance, I mean who wouldn't have after 11 cycles (13 if you count the two cycles within a cycle...). Our next option is Femara, starting off at 5mg/day for five days (lowest is 2.5mg and highest is 7.5mg). I started it this past Monday and haven't really noticed anything different YET.
I also have another HSG scheduled for next week. The doctor wants to make sure my left tube healed properly after my ectopic. I have been praying non-stop that it's okay and just want Monday to be over and done with. It's mid-day but I took the afternoon off and Hubby and I are going to go out to lunch and maybe see a movie, just spend some quality time together.
I also have a follie check coming up on Wednesday. I'm curious to see how well I respond to Femara (fingers crossed!!!!).
I just want a take home baby.
I also have another HSG scheduled for next week. The doctor wants to make sure my left tube healed properly after my ectopic. I have been praying non-stop that it's okay and just want Monday to be over and done with. It's mid-day but I took the afternoon off and Hubby and I are going to go out to lunch and maybe see a movie, just spend some quality time together.
I also have a follie check coming up on Wednesday. I'm curious to see how well I respond to Femara (fingers crossed!!!!).
I just want a take home baby.
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Vegas
Hubby and I got married in Vegas. It's not the conventional way of doing things but Hubby and I aren't really that conventional I guess.
Hubby and I had a rather rocky engagement. I went a little stir crazy with my life, asked him to move out of the house and was single for about a month before I realized he was the most important thing in my life and I couldn't imagine myself as an old women and NOT having him by my side. I still choke up thinking about the mistake I could have made.
I was brought up Catholic and he was brought up, well, he was just brought up. So when we went about planning our wedding day, we decided to get married by the mayor of the city I worked for and have our ceremony and reception at the same hall. I booked the hall, a photographer and some other things. When we got back together, the wedding was scheduled for in about 9 months and we didn't want to try and stress ourselves out by planning anymore and kind of gave up on the idea for a little bit. On New Year's Eve that year we spent the night at my now BIL's house. I had a dream of racing around a mall to finish up wedding planning on a Friday afternoon. Let's just say that we ended up with a cupcake tower in my dream. I don't know why but the dream made me feel as though I was finally ready to get married, so we started planning AGAIN. By the end of February we couldn't handle the pressure. Talking with my soon-to-be BIL and SIL, we realized we were letting the stress get to us and we didn't want this to be about anyone but the two of us. We decided to do a destination wedding for the same time.
Two days later we sat at home looking at our options, knowing we wanted our parents there for us and decided our best bet for that was in the states and chose our favorite vacation spot, Vegas!
I wouldn't take anything back about that day (well maybe feeding my step-son three Starbucks Frappacinos and having him puke during pictures). It was a gorgeous day, my parents were there, my life as Mrs. Smith started that day, how could it get better?
Hubby and I had a rather rocky engagement. I went a little stir crazy with my life, asked him to move out of the house and was single for about a month before I realized he was the most important thing in my life and I couldn't imagine myself as an old women and NOT having him by my side. I still choke up thinking about the mistake I could have made.
I was brought up Catholic and he was brought up, well, he was just brought up. So when we went about planning our wedding day, we decided to get married by the mayor of the city I worked for and have our ceremony and reception at the same hall. I booked the hall, a photographer and some other things. When we got back together, the wedding was scheduled for in about 9 months and we didn't want to try and stress ourselves out by planning anymore and kind of gave up on the idea for a little bit. On New Year's Eve that year we spent the night at my now BIL's house. I had a dream of racing around a mall to finish up wedding planning on a Friday afternoon. Let's just say that we ended up with a cupcake tower in my dream. I don't know why but the dream made me feel as though I was finally ready to get married, so we started planning AGAIN. By the end of February we couldn't handle the pressure. Talking with my soon-to-be BIL and SIL, we realized we were letting the stress get to us and we didn't want this to be about anyone but the two of us. We decided to do a destination wedding for the same time.
Two days later we sat at home looking at our options, knowing we wanted our parents there for us and decided our best bet for that was in the states and chose our favorite vacation spot, Vegas!
I wouldn't take anything back about that day (well maybe feeding my step-son three Starbucks Frappacinos and having him puke during pictures). It was a gorgeous day, my parents were there, my life as Mrs. Smith started that day, how could it get better?
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