Well, maybe just at Dunkin' Donuts, but still. Hubby and I went to my RE appointment this morning (big fail there) but our ritual is to stop at the Dunkin' Donuts right before we get on the highway to go to the RE and grab some coffee. I normally just get the iced caramel latte but today they had all their pumpkin stuff! So of course I had to get a pumpkin cake donut (Oh em gee) and a hot pumpkin latte. Yum on both fronts!
RE appointment didn't go as well. I had my HSG on Monday. My left tube (where the ectopic was at) is clear BUT my right tube is now blocked, which was fine last October...WTF. Today is only CD12 and there wasn't a lot of progress from the Femara, so I go back on CD15, this Saturday. I had a good cry fest on Monday but I'm okay today with things. I'll be fine, as someone on The Bump pointed out, I still have a clear tube, that's all that matters.
I'm so excited that it's fall time. I dread the cold of winter but there's just something about fall that gets me excited. The crispness in the air, the smell of bonfires, pumpkins, going to haunted houses, festivals, it's just all so refreshing. My niece is in the high school marching band and we help out on Friday nights at the games for her and I so look forward to that, this is the last year since she's a senior so it's bittersweet. I'm hoping my love of all things fall related will help me through these next couple of months.
Showing posts with label Ectopic. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Ectopic. Show all posts
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Monday, April 26, 2010
Happy Birthday to me...
I'm 29 today. What a way to celebrate my birthday. My ass didn't leave the couch until about 4:30 p.m.ish when I decided I needed a shower at least. Hubby wanted to take me out for a quick dinner before my classes tonight, so we went to Olive Garden (because I wanted Tiramisu). It was nice to get out. We came home and my back started hurting bad and I'm cramping on the left side where they removed the ectopic, so I'm skipping school. I'm quite the slacker these days.
My weekend was spent resting and we went to my brother-in-law's for dinner to celebrate my birthday. I wanted simple, burgers, fries and Caesar salad. My BIL also made some strawberry banana daiquiris. My mom and dad gave me a gift certificate for a Miche bag, since I've been wanting one along with some cash. I got gift cards and cash from everyone else. The gift cards are all to Bed Bath & Beyond. I told everyone there's a few things I want there, including a pasta pot with a strainer, a new wooden cutting board and I've been eyeing a wooden salad bowl. So I'll be going shopping in the next few weeks.
It's back to work tomorrow, don't know how I'm going to do, but I'll try my best. People know what's going on and I ran into one of my detectives at the grocery store yesterday, he was so kind about it but I'm scared to break into tears in front of people. Our work is tight knit and it got out before I could even keep it a secret, I didn't want people to know, but they do.
I feel so empty right now. I know I wasn't pregnant that long, but I feel like there is just something missing from me. I keep eating, even when I'm not hungry. I feel stuffed, but it's like I just can't shake this feeling. I'm miserable and I just wish it didn't have to be this hard to get pregnant. I'm crying over the littlest thing and feeling ridiculous about everything. Hubby was downstairs yesterday morning, let the dogs out and was going to make breakfast, I was upstairs by myself and I just lost it, I started crying and he ran upstairs to see what was wrong, I can't explain that I just want my baby, I want both of them. I've lost two already and feel like such a failure that I can't do what normal everyday women do all the damn time. My body aches to hold these babies and just be normal. I asked hubby the other night if he thought these babies were girls or boys, he thinks they were both girls. I think the first was a girl but this one would have been a boy.
I told myself I would get off the computer at 9:00 and spend the rest of the evening with my sexy hubby, who I can't have sex with right now :-( So I'm going to go cuddle up next to him and try and forget these pains in my abdomen.
My weekend was spent resting and we went to my brother-in-law's for dinner to celebrate my birthday. I wanted simple, burgers, fries and Caesar salad. My BIL also made some strawberry banana daiquiris. My mom and dad gave me a gift certificate for a Miche bag, since I've been wanting one along with some cash. I got gift cards and cash from everyone else. The gift cards are all to Bed Bath & Beyond. I told everyone there's a few things I want there, including a pasta pot with a strainer, a new wooden cutting board and I've been eyeing a wooden salad bowl. So I'll be going shopping in the next few weeks.
It's back to work tomorrow, don't know how I'm going to do, but I'll try my best. People know what's going on and I ran into one of my detectives at the grocery store yesterday, he was so kind about it but I'm scared to break into tears in front of people. Our work is tight knit and it got out before I could even keep it a secret, I didn't want people to know, but they do.
I feel so empty right now. I know I wasn't pregnant that long, but I feel like there is just something missing from me. I keep eating, even when I'm not hungry. I feel stuffed, but it's like I just can't shake this feeling. I'm miserable and I just wish it didn't have to be this hard to get pregnant. I'm crying over the littlest thing and feeling ridiculous about everything. Hubby was downstairs yesterday morning, let the dogs out and was going to make breakfast, I was upstairs by myself and I just lost it, I started crying and he ran upstairs to see what was wrong, I can't explain that I just want my baby, I want both of them. I've lost two already and feel like such a failure that I can't do what normal everyday women do all the damn time. My body aches to hold these babies and just be normal. I asked hubby the other night if he thought these babies were girls or boys, he thinks they were both girls. I think the first was a girl but this one would have been a boy.
I told myself I would get off the computer at 9:00 and spend the rest of the evening with my sexy hubby, who I can't have sex with right now :-( So I'm going to go cuddle up next to him and try and forget these pains in my abdomen.
Friday, April 9, 2010
So a little more story
Wednesday morning I woke up for my RE consult and I had horrible cramps the night before, was so ready to say screw it, in fact half way through peeing, I changed my mind and was like, "WTH, I have one more test, who cares if I waste it." I got out a cup, peed, tested and left it in the bathroom to check on in a few. I went into the kitchen, washed my hands and started packing DH's lunch (something I started doing a few months ago just cuz). While I was making DH's lunch he says to me, "Didn't you take a test?" Looking back, I think he looked in on it before saying this. I said, "Oh yeah, duh." And figured I'd go check it and chuck it in the trash like normal.
As soon as I saw that faint second line my eyes welled up with tears. I was so excited. I went to the RE, told them and they did bloodwork and said we wouldn't bother with the consult right now. They wanted my beta to be between 50-100. They called that afternoon and said it was a 50! I was ecstatic.
Two days later I went in for another test, they feel they should be up by 70%, not doubled, so they were looking for a beta of 85. It had gone down to a 44. I was devastated and left work because I was so upset. Monday I took off and went again. It went down to a 38 and I started bleeing heavily that day, I stayed home Tuesday also, then Wednesday and Thursday worked half days because my back was killing me halfway through the day. The following Monday I went in for another blood test. It was only down to 23 and my flow was tapering off. The RE called me in for an exam two days later and more bloodwork. When he pushed on my right side I started crying, it hurt that bad. That had been the side where I had the huge egg, he started to suspect it was an ectopic. My bloodwork went back up to a 28. He gave me information on a laprascopy and a shot, Methotrexate and said we would talk the next day (Thursday, 4/22).
Hubby and I discussed it at length, did our own research, wrote down a list of questions and I went back to the office on Thursday. When all was said and done, he suggested the shot, but understood if I wanted the lap instead. We decided on the lap and he decided to also do a D&C. This was all yesterday and today I'm just resting. Lots of liquids, junk food, a heating pad, pain meds and my DVR. Oh and my puppy cuddling up against me, they have such a good sense of when something is wrong.
My experience at the hospital was wonderful, but rather than rehash it, here's an e-mail I sent my BFF this morning:
Wow, I don't even know where to start except that the hospital I went to was wonderful. The nurses had me in tears sometimes from being so kind, from the check-in/check-out nurses, to the pre-op, to the op, and the recovery nurses, they were all wonderful.
We got there and I had already been registered over the phone the day before, so they took me straight into a room. Jeff and Steven got to stay in there with me and watch t.v. and the nurses came in and out to do paperwork, take temp, b/p, etc. and finally put in an IV with fluids.
When I texted you about the IV, they came in right after that and did it, and not long after that they took me up to pre-op. It was two floors up, and there's a waiting room there for family. They let the boys say bye to me and then I laid there for a little while. They came in and got me at about 3ish and by about 3:15 I was out.
Recovery was a little rough, they take out the breathing tube and it makes your throat scratchy. I heard my monitors beeping like crazy and I actually told myself to calm down so that they'd stop beeping so loudly, the only thing I had a hard time controlling was the amount of oxygen I was getting. I had to breathe deep through the tube in my nose and exhale through my mouth. I'd forget and it would go off again. Plus, I knocked my monitor off my finger, so they put it on my toes, but they're painted and it made it hard, so then they put it on my ear to monitor the oxygen.
While laying in recovery, I would have sworn the nurse said they took my left tube and I started crying. When that one came back, she came to the side of the bed and I said, "Did you say they took my left tube?" She said, "Yes," and I started crying. She kept saying I could still get pregnant. She asked if I wanted my husband and I said yes, so they went to get him. She brought him in and I asked him, he said no, that he talked to Dr. Mooney and they said they took the tissue from the embryo out of my left tube, and they had to cut it open to do so but that it would heal itself. Another nurse was standing there and agreed with him, but I said that another nurse had told me that. I was hard to understand and I think the nurses must have been saying they removed the tubal from my left tube, not the tube itself. They also kept saying I was 6 weeks, so I'm assuming that it kept growing, even after all the bleeding the week before.
I was then moved back down to my original room and the boys came along. I had to rest in there for a little bit, had some crackers and Sprite. Then they took out the IV and the boys left so the nurse could take me to the bathroom. She helped me do all that, then called the boys back in.
They have a program where they take the tissue from your removal and cremate it with the other babies people have lost and once a year they have a memorial service. A nurse at that hospital came up with the program after having numerous M/C's herself. They gave me a packet with pamphlets for me, Jeff, our parents, anyone who would deal with grief from it, information on support groups and meetings and a small baby quilt.We had to go get my RX's filled and while at the store I got Sprite (something different than all the ice water!) little chocolate carmel candies, a lunch for today to heat in the microwave and breakfast sandwiches for this morning. Jeff had to leave and do some things, so he made my breakfast (one of the sandwiches, an orange and some milk) before he left, but now I'm just resting in bed.
We came home and had dinner (I was STARVING) and had made pork ribs in the crockpot and mashed potatoes. We just laid on the couch and recliner and watched movies.
Okay, that was a lot longer than I expected, lol. I'm going to lay down and rest now. Talk to you soon.
As soon as I saw that faint second line my eyes welled up with tears. I was so excited. I went to the RE, told them and they did bloodwork and said we wouldn't bother with the consult right now. They wanted my beta to be between 50-100. They called that afternoon and said it was a 50! I was ecstatic.
Two days later I went in for another test, they feel they should be up by 70%, not doubled, so they were looking for a beta of 85. It had gone down to a 44. I was devastated and left work because I was so upset. Monday I took off and went again. It went down to a 38 and I started bleeing heavily that day, I stayed home Tuesday also, then Wednesday and Thursday worked half days because my back was killing me halfway through the day. The following Monday I went in for another blood test. It was only down to 23 and my flow was tapering off. The RE called me in for an exam two days later and more bloodwork. When he pushed on my right side I started crying, it hurt that bad. That had been the side where I had the huge egg, he started to suspect it was an ectopic. My bloodwork went back up to a 28. He gave me information on a laprascopy and a shot, Methotrexate and said we would talk the next day (Thursday, 4/22).
Hubby and I discussed it at length, did our own research, wrote down a list of questions and I went back to the office on Thursday. When all was said and done, he suggested the shot, but understood if I wanted the lap instead. We decided on the lap and he decided to also do a D&C. This was all yesterday and today I'm just resting. Lots of liquids, junk food, a heating pad, pain meds and my DVR. Oh and my puppy cuddling up against me, they have such a good sense of when something is wrong.
My experience at the hospital was wonderful, but rather than rehash it, here's an e-mail I sent my BFF this morning:
Wow, I don't even know where to start except that the hospital I went to was wonderful. The nurses had me in tears sometimes from being so kind, from the check-in/check-out nurses, to the pre-op, to the op, and the recovery nurses, they were all wonderful.
We got there and I had already been registered over the phone the day before, so they took me straight into a room. Jeff and Steven got to stay in there with me and watch t.v. and the nurses came in and out to do paperwork, take temp, b/p, etc. and finally put in an IV with fluids.
When I texted you about the IV, they came in right after that and did it, and not long after that they took me up to pre-op. It was two floors up, and there's a waiting room there for family. They let the boys say bye to me and then I laid there for a little while. They came in and got me at about 3ish and by about 3:15 I was out.
Recovery was a little rough, they take out the breathing tube and it makes your throat scratchy. I heard my monitors beeping like crazy and I actually told myself to calm down so that they'd stop beeping so loudly, the only thing I had a hard time controlling was the amount of oxygen I was getting. I had to breathe deep through the tube in my nose and exhale through my mouth. I'd forget and it would go off again. Plus, I knocked my monitor off my finger, so they put it on my toes, but they're painted and it made it hard, so then they put it on my ear to monitor the oxygen.
While laying in recovery, I would have sworn the nurse said they took my left tube and I started crying. When that one came back, she came to the side of the bed and I said, "Did you say they took my left tube?" She said, "Yes," and I started crying. She kept saying I could still get pregnant. She asked if I wanted my husband and I said yes, so they went to get him. She brought him in and I asked him, he said no, that he talked to Dr. Mooney and they said they took the tissue from the embryo out of my left tube, and they had to cut it open to do so but that it would heal itself. Another nurse was standing there and agreed with him, but I said that another nurse had told me that. I was hard to understand and I think the nurses must have been saying they removed the tubal from my left tube, not the tube itself. They also kept saying I was 6 weeks, so I'm assuming that it kept growing, even after all the bleeding the week before.
I was then moved back down to my original room and the boys came along. I had to rest in there for a little bit, had some crackers and Sprite. Then they took out the IV and the boys left so the nurse could take me to the bathroom. She helped me do all that, then called the boys back in.
They have a program where they take the tissue from your removal and cremate it with the other babies people have lost and once a year they have a memorial service. A nurse at that hospital came up with the program after having numerous M/C's herself. They gave me a packet with pamphlets for me, Jeff, our parents, anyone who would deal with grief from it, information on support groups and meetings and a small baby quilt.We had to go get my RX's filled and while at the store I got Sprite (something different than all the ice water!) little chocolate carmel candies, a lunch for today to heat in the microwave and breakfast sandwiches for this morning. Jeff had to leave and do some things, so he made my breakfast (one of the sandwiches, an orange and some milk) before he left, but now I'm just resting in bed.
We came home and had dinner (I was STARVING) and had made pork ribs in the crockpot and mashed potatoes. We just laid on the couch and recliner and watched movies.
Okay, that was a lot longer than I expected, lol. I'm going to lay down and rest now. Talk to you soon.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)